You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
