Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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