Welp...herpes.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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