Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
birth control should be required to get into college
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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