that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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