I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
