So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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