wat bout pragnant strippers??
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
