Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
