Where is the hickey?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
