As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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