no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
