well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize