I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
