Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
NoShamevember. You game?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
