After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
