Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
