I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Is Oprah even human
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
