I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
