i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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