Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
