dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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