I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
