Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
