Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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