Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize