Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
