somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
