I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
