Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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