Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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