He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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