just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
