And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
a search helicopter?!
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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