it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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