if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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