I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
