Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
