toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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