UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
