I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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