Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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