My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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