Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
