he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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