WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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