her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
