and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
