yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
