jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
