I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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