Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
