I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
just found out that she named her cat after me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
