I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
In other news, I just burned my penis
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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