I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize