so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Drake has all the answers
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
