My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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