my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize