No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
