I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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