she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
they need to just BURY HIM!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize