I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
