can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
