even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
