Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
