I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
