I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
