Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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