I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
