it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
