no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
