Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
