Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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