is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
