i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
