I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Randomize
