I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
