Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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